Schedules and walking meters that fail

I decided I needed a schedule; I'm far better when I have a schedule and there is far too much to do without one to keep me on track...

I made one today; it includes everything but eating, well for me at least. Everyone else has their eating scheduled in but the human in the equation hasn't figured out how she'll work that in!

It's not easy being a beginner at anything when you are 41 years old much less a complete change (no matter how welcome) of lifestyle. It's especially difficult when the beginner in question has never really sucked at anything in her life and certainly hasn't had to "be patient" while she learns! Grasping the fact that this will not find me an expert in the short year that it has been still drives me a little insane. Knowing that "expert" is unreachable when you are dealing with living and breathing beings does not help; I am the picture of unrealistic expectations when it comes to myself. It's as silly as thinking that you will be an expert at parenthood after you have your first child, it's impossible.

That I have to bounce on a ball all day at work and remind myself constantly to sit up straight is enough to make me wanna smack myself in the forehead! Apparently I didn't even have the concept of sitting up straight right in my head, I arch the hell out of my back normally and am constantly reminding myself that sticking your ass out does not mean your sitting up straight! I practiced walking with a straight back today while I was walking up the hill back to work, apparently I lean when walking up a hill and trying to not lean forward was kind of a challenge! I suppose being aware of my body is a bit of a challenge in and of itself, I always thought I was. As it turns out being aware of my own body does not equal knowing when I am going to trip over a stick in the woods!

Balance is another one that confounds me; I've never been a ballerina (unless you count the time when I was 8 years old) however I can still do a back bend, a cartwheel in a straight line, a round off in a straight line, I can ice skate and roller skate as if I were still 15 and not even come close to falling but apparently that does not mean one is "balanced" enough to ride successfully. And here I thought I had some pretty decent balance going on....

I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to teach a 41 year old body how to do something as simple as soften her back, goodness I can't even wrap my head around it most the time; I do know I have to figure it out. It's all very humbling really, in a good way, in a challenging way and in a way that makes me wish I had started ten years ago!

So all that being said I made myself a schedule, bounce on my ball all day at work and am even walking with a little meter thingy all day long. The meter failed me today when I went for my 30 minute walk around Winslow so I don't really have my count for today but I am shooting for 10,000 steps a day. I was walking with my little meter thing, hoping for a good two to three thousand steps by the time I was done and back to work, I talked to myself the entire time "Do not stop and check, just keep walking, you don't need to check just keep walking". A little battle with my obsessive side ;-) I finally checked when a co-worker came up behind me and stopped me and the damn thing had only recorded 60 steps! As it turns out it doesn't work when you hook it to the pocket of your baggiest jeans! It is now on my waist band and has recorded a mere 3,164 steps so far today. I may have to run back and forth up the drive when I go deliver Patch his beet pulp for the night...I'd like to figure I walked 2,000 during my walk at lunch but I am afraid it's cheating and I'll never really believe it anyway!

I do have to re-figure my schedule so that there is a bit of time for dinner. In all likelihood I will simply eat dinner at my desk before I leave and not re-do the schedule however for my mom's sake I'll make an effort, she worries!

So there you have this beginners frustrations for the day; everyone is eating and happy right now. Leo and I are due up at the barn in a few minutes to clean and deliver Patch's special "dinner" so I'll end this rant for now and know that tomorrow will be great fun since I'm implementing this impossible schedule! I'll simply adjust accordingly as we continue this journey into being the best I can for the horses I love!

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