Oh those eyes get me every time

Today was a good day; I did not follow my schedule but I am ok with that for today. I did spend the better part of the day being grateful; grateful for the wonderful friends I have in my life, grateful for the life we've created here at the "farm".

Kate had the baby today, I found a long lost poem, the farrier came to tend to most everyone's feet and I worked from home...what did I discover? What did I learn? Oh just gobs and gobs of insight came my way today!

I guess I will start with, and probably end with, Tex. He rivals any love I've ever felt, just watching him finds me smiling in ways that I haven't smiled since I first saw my son (not that I am comparing my son to a horse!). Tex does inspire the same level of pride and joy every single time I look at him, every time he walks up to me (looking for something no doubt), every time he turns his head, every time I sit upon his back and he accepts me there...it's amazing to me. I feel a connection with him that rivals that of Joshua and Leo, which may sound off to some I suppose. I am however convinced it is the mom in me and much like I believe that children pick their parents I believe that animals pick their partners (I hate the word "owner").

I wonder how kooky it is to think that children pick their parents but I do believe it to be true; through every heartache that Joshua and I have seen I've always comforted myself in knowing that if that boy wanted to be born to someone else he would have; do I understand and/or can I explain how they "pick"? Nope not at all, I do however believe it with all my heart. I suppose it all comes down to believing in fate and a force far more powerful and knowing than myself.

I could be guilty of thinking too much here but how in the world can I believe that Joshua was delivered into my life by chance and "breeding"; someone somewhere knew I needed him as much as he needed me. Being his mom has taught me patience, acceptance, and given me strength that even I deny (for fear I sound too proud of myself and cause a huge lightening bolt to strike me on principal!). It is however as accurate a statement as I have ever made. I have no clue who or what controls this crazy universe I am allowed to participate in I only know that it has delivered me some of the best beings ever and I am grateful, so very grateful.

Tex is a great example of that, this is where it gets sappy! I look at his face, look at those eyes and pray that he feels the same love I do. Honestly I choose to believe that the swell of emotions I feel every time I see him is mutual because it suits me :-) I still don't quite understand how I got so lucky with Tex, I just no longer worry about the why and simply enjoy the fact that he'll put his face in my hand and wait till I rub his teeth and make the squeaky sound he seems to love, that he'll come running when I call his name, that he will let me "nap" with him and snore in my lap (which I suppose to others sounds downright weird) or that he will come investigate if I pay too much attention to any of the other horses, as if to remind me that he is the "special one". Like I said, I like to think it's mutual cause the connection seems so honest and pure that it rivals only that of a mother and child (before they hit the teen years of course!)

I suppose I could have summed up this post with one sentence...The love one feels for a child and/or an animal is the most honest of loves. Today I was reminded of both and am grateful beyond words

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