Herd bound

Today as I was getting ready to go to my brother's house for dinner I went wandering through the barn. Checking water buckets that had been checked five minutes before, kicking around the pellets in the stalls I cleaned earlier in preparation for this incredible trip that would take me away for a good five hours, divvying up hay for their "first half" of dinner knowing that I'd call Dale and ask him to give it to them cause I wouldn't be home by 5pm, I realized...I am herd bound.

In my defense I did manage to clean the excess mud from my boots. I even thought about make up (in that I stuffed a bottle of foundation in my purse) I never applied it.

I had a lovely time at my brother's. I was able to see my grandson, I got to see my grand niece and nephew. We had a wonderful dinner of steaks on the grill, multiple salads and a good bunch of laughter.

I missed seeing the ponies through the window while I ate.

I wondered where the "me" that thrived on cell phones, noise, traffic, and a constant connection had gone. I also wondered when I stopped missing her.

I remembered the smell of the barn while I yelled to the kids not to play in the street, which was really a street, and I shook my head.

I had changed, or maybe I had just stopped pretending.

The animals, somehow, have given me permission to honor who I am. And now, now I am herd bound. Had I been able to call for them as I left the drive I probably would have. If I had I am sure they'd have called back because really it is that simple with them, and these days (thank goodness) for me as well.

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