The wedding march

Patch's room is the shelter. No one except Patch seems to like the shelter, there is only room for one. You can see the barn and typically the horse in the end stall, Texas or Amber. It's also huge, covered on three sides, complete with two windows and a doorway area to look out. It's hardly torture. All that does not equal the "ideal room" for Katie, Texas or Amber. Patch on the other hand uses the space and privacy to do what he loves best, eat in peace. Heck he's even started pooping in one general area, I am convinced he just needed more room before and wasn't really the single messiest pony ever. I watch these things; pooping habits occupy my thoughts at least once a day.

In any case Patch does not hate the shelter, he normally walks right behind me and into the shelter we go.

Last night Patch decided it was too early to go in, he stood in front of the barn and stared at me as if to say "how about ummm no". I actually had to put a halter and finally a lead rope on him. Putting Patch away never requires a halter much less a halter and a lead rope. It might on occasion require that I show him dinner is waiting, honestly that's the extent of it, normally!

Last night I think the old boy was insulted that I'd put a halter and a rope on Him over dinner time! Imagine telling Johnny Cash he needed an electric guitar to succeed, that was Patch's face last night the minute the rope clicked onto his halter.

It took us ten minutes, it seemed, to get approximately 75 to 100 feet (I suck at distance but it's not far!). It went like this...

We got the rope on the halter, Patch looked at me, pinned his ears and squinted his eyes as if to say "HMPH" and turned his head straight away. As far as he was concerned not only was this horrible treatment bullshit, he was not going to comply.

I looked at him and told him in no uncertain terms, we were going up there. I pointed, he looked at me when I talked and looked to the shelter when I pointed. Patch is freakishly smart; he saw hay in my trunk the other day and also saw me close the trunk without removing the hay, he stood there placing his nose on the trunk and looking at me alternately for a good thirty seconds before he gave up and walked away disgusted with my inability to do as told.

In any case, last night standing there stubborn as the stereo type, I figured we'd walk in a circle and head to the shelter. Patch usually takes this version of do-si-do as my version of "alright enough" and off we go to where ever we are headed. Not last night. We did a cute little circle in front of the barn only to stand stock still with Patch looking at me like Johnny Cash holding an electric guitar cable, confused and none too pleased.

I moved forward holding the lead rope, not looking back at him and he moved a step. I thought we were done being pissy and kept moving forward. Patch took that one step and stopped, perfectly square, staring straight ahead. I was, as a result, stopped.

I walked back to him, told him again that enough was enough, pointed and moved. He moved one flippin step! He loves, LOVES, looking like the big bad Appy that he is. I swear to goodness he puffs up his chest the moment his ears pin (which is often). He is about as scary as the stay-puff marshmallow guy (and with his winter coat resembles him as well) but he tries! I got the full on Patch display last night right up to the very door of his stall, one step at a time! He stood there front feet on the very edge of the doorway, his nose sticking inside, and snorted before he went in. I don't think it's hard to figure out what that snort meant!

Tonight he and Amber were in the yard while I was getting dinner ready. Texas and Katie were glued together in the lower half of the pasture doing god knows what when Tex noticed me bringing dinner to Patch's stall. I met him at the gate and he and Katie were in before Patch and Amber even cared what they were doing. Dale was giving them an apple, that takes priority over Tex and Katie's activities!

Patch came up to the barn first, cause Dale headed there and with him the possibility of more! Amber went in fine once she got over Tex being in "her" stall which left our buddy Patch. He apparently did not feel the need to go in and was once again perfectly fine standing there watching the poor saps that got conned out of the yard by a silly pile of hay!

Out came the halter followed by the lead rope. Patch pinned his cute little ears and I figured we were going to have to match stubborn for stubborn while my teeth chattered! In his defense five o'clock seems early when day light is finally coming back...

I pretty much repeated my speech from last night, added the promise of an apple, and walked forward. I was stopped short when Patch decided that as great as that apple might be he was not easy or stupid. He did the one step thing. I just stood in front of him, at the end of his lead rope, and waited. He relented and followed, right behind me, polite as can be. I doubt if my lecture on cold weather, ridiculous games and matching wills made one bit of difference; Patch moves when Patch wants to move. He loves me so he cooperates 99% of the time, the other 1% he relents as if to remind me that the general awesomeness that is Patch is not a given but a result of that love.

Posted in: