Tolerance, picking battles, & Universal Strings

Now that, my friends, is a clever title!


I'm a very tolerant person. I am pretty sure that my tolerance is a result of having to learn, early on, how to pick my battles.


Hmmmm, that's kind of bullshit.


I am a very tolerant person. I have learned to pick my battles. That isn't bullshit. 


I did not do this early on. I'm not sure that's why I am a tolerant person. That part could be considered bullshit, depending your perspective. 


Joshua taught me how to pick my battles. Without Joshua, I'd probably still be sitting here today wondering why the rest of the world wasn't operating as I saw fit. He surely doesn't know this and he doesn't read my blog so he likely never will. That's not a bad thing, he doesn't need to know :-)


Being tolerant though, that might just be a defense mechanism gone good, if you will. I don't like to fight. I don't like to be in conflict. When I am in conflict I can't write, I can't eat, I usually don't sleep very well, all in all I don't do it well.

There was a ton of conflict when I was growing up. What that conflict was matters little anymore; that the time period was fraught with conflict, well that part matters a great deal.

It created a person that can deal with the conflict of others with ease but shakes in her boots at the thought of conflict touching her. 

We'll take something as simple as a hot spot on a dog. If Buster (a dog I know) got a hot spot and Buster's mom called me I'd be able to assure her that 1. she is not responsible for the hot spot 2. it happens 3. it's easy to treat 4. he will live 5. repeat numbers one (1) through four (4). 

Leo (my dog) gets a hot spot and inside I freak out. I'm a horrible dog mom, I know he is allergic, I should have been more diligent, he may never recover, he could very well chew off his tail and then who's fault would that be! I apply the necessary medicines, give the necessary baths, etc... etc... apologizing the whole time. 

Funny little fact, not many notice this fantastic freak out. 

But it happens, it just usually happens inside. Wow, more bullshit. It always happens inside or the above sentence wouldn't really make much sense would it?

It keeps me honest, if only with myself.

I think it's why I am so very attracted to the likes of Katie, Patch, Rev, and let us not forget P or Brody. When I met Katie she had trust issues. P, trust issues. Rev, too gentle a soul for his own good. Brody, he was simply lost. Patch, much like Rev, he was too gentle a soul for his own good. Patch would walk away before taking the food someone else took from him. Rev, same thing. 

I can relate. I do relate. 

I've always had tremendous respect for Katie and P because they stood by their mistrust (if you will) until proven otherwise. Sounds strange, I am sure, however I understand a girl who keeps herself protected until she has proof she doesn't have to. 

The boys... 

It's odd, with Patch I only remember how he looked before he left. I can hardly picture how it was when he first came home. I know he wasn't in great shape but it seems so far away. No matter how I try I don't remember Patch skinny and in need of healing. I remember him proud and puffed up with his blanketed butt shining in the sun, I remember him standing there looking at me like I was a crazy person for placing his lunch near Tex who was bound to steal it. I remember him cuddling (quite literally) up to my brother (who is afraid of "those animals"). I remember him looking at me that last day with more understanding then most people can muster. I remember every day how gentle a soul he was. I remember every day, how little people understood about him. I remember all that and pray each day that a little of that rubbed off on me.

Brody was just flat out lost. I picture Brody and I can remember how he looked that first day. My goodness what a memorable day it was. No more than a week or so ago, I was standing at the gate, wondering about unicorns, rainbows, and why I have a love for those whom many do not understand; I was looking at Brody. 

I love Brody. I think I fell in love with Brody the minute I placed my hand on him. I didn't want to fall in love with Brody. I was so vulnerable the day I met Brody I might have fallen in love with a chicken with a one leg. However, that day I didn't run into a chicken with one leg; I met Brody. He, quite literally, looked like I felt. I looked at him and I understood, completely, where he was. I looked at him and wanted to cry for where I was. I looked at him and wondered who in the hell was pulling the strings that brought us together, a day after Patch left. What kind of Universe does that? In all honesty, I wasn't pleased. 

As awful as it may sound, I tend to resent whomever is pulling the Universal Strings now and again. 

I do understand Brody. If I cared to be honest, I could admit that I think I understand the Universal Strings that brought us together. I'm not sure I care to be that honest right now.

Rev, perhaps we will close with Rev. Rev's a funny story, of course! There was this lady that rescued this mare. The lady that rescued the mare did the right thing and contacted a rescue. The rescue posted on a social network site asking for help for the mare. All good right? Yep.

I see the posts about the mare. All good right? No.

I have an empty stall. Unfortunately I also have experience with horses that have been neglected/starved. I'm stupid enough to say this aloud (rather type it). 

I end up going to see the mare, whom is in quite capable hands. No need for me to be involved. 

Enter Rev. Gelding, no major issues, sweet as can be, could use a good home. Perhaps a few mild feet issues, probably dental, a few extra groceries... Ummm sweet as can be. Dark, Deep, Almost Black Bay. Gorgeous. Sweet. Rescues are crowded; have I mentioned...empty stall, gorgeous, no major issues, sweet as can be? Rev is the only horse I have brought home sight unseen. I didn't even so much as hesitate. Wonder why?

I kinda know why.

Honestly the fact that I could help the rescue was the biggest piece. Rev was nothing special as far as rescues go. Rev was one of the lucky ones. His owners were having a hard time and they sought out help. When I heard about Rev I was pretty relieved that I had this great opportunity to help without the complications that come with a 'typical' rescue situation. If I am horribly honest I'd probably have to admit that I was more attracted to helping the rescue than I was to Rev.

Funny thing, in Rev, sweetheart that he is, I found ... he understood and I didn't have to explain.

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