Pussy footing around

I would like to talk about Austen, I have been a little hesitant to discuss him for a couple of reasons. It was hard for me to come to terms with what had happened to him and I wanted to discuss it without anger. My being angry and writing almost always results in swearing and rambling. I also wanted us to have a chance to settle. Finally I had to decide how angry I was going to stay at the lady whom is responsible for Austen's current condition as seen below.

Austen is not some random horse that networking brought to my attention. Austen is the horse that helped me remember why I loved them all so much. I had come close to throwing in the towel when Austen walked into my life. It really doesn't matter why, let's just say I was at my wits end. Enter Austen, see below.

Yes, folks it is the same horse.

Austen was not my horse. I leased Austen.

Austen was eventually sold to a woman by the name of Shannon. Shannon bought Austen for a young (like under 10) girl. Austen is absolutely perfect for a job like that.

Austen is also older, as we all know older often means a few quirks. Austen needs senior grain and beet pulp. Austen has a hard time with hay. His teeth are questionable, he won't eat on the ground (he'll pee on it and subsequently waste it all), he really needs to be supplemented with the grain/beet pulp. This is not only easy to accommodate it is also pretty damn standard with an older horse.

I don't know what happened with Austen when he at his "new" home. I only know the end result. He came back to his original owners in the condition of the first picture and came to me shortly thereafter.

His original owners and I have been friends for some time and had things worked out differently I probably would have bought Austen. As life happened I didn't have room and Austen went to Shannon.

Austen came to me shortly after he was returned to his original owners for a couple reasons. Austen and I have history, his owners trust me, I had room.

There has been an internal debate going on since Austen came to me. Is it worth my energy to be angry at this woman whom did not take care of him properly? With all the others that have made their way to me I figured it was not. My stance has always been, the person behind this mess doesn't matter, the animal in the mess does.

Enter Austen.

Austen, one of the kindest souls on the planet. Austen, the one that helped reaffirm my faith when I was pretty heartbroken and scared. Austen who came to my house a few days ago looking like Brody did when Drea found him.

I don't know this lady that had him. I don't want to know her. I'm afraid I'd be very mean if I did know her.

Couple of questions, if she couldn't take care of him why did she hang onto him? A horse does not drop that weight overnight, why was she not paying attention?

He did drop it rapidly, I'll give her that.

That is all I will give her.

Again, I don't know what happened when he was with Shannon, I only truly know the end result of his time there. I can make an educated guess though.

Austen did not get anything but hay. She didn't listen. She may as well have not fed him for a month.

I am completely flabbergasted by the situation. I'm livid.

I've had others come into my care that have suffered at someone else's hand. It is always a little heartbreaking. I am always angry at the things people can do to animals when a new one comes into my life like that. Rarely am I as livid as I am at this woman.

I've always thought to take the high road if you will. To focus on the animal not the person that brought them into your life. It has always seemed pointless to waste my time on that part of rescuing. It certainly didn't seem wise, forgiving, or healthy. It wasn't always easy. There have been days with each and every one of them where I am quite pissed at the person that brought them to me, their previous owners if you will. However I have traditionally chosen to let that go and focus on the horse in question. They come my way for a reason, each and every one of them. Most of them have passed through after getting healthy and I like to believe that somehow they'd remember me for giving them that second chance. I know I remember them for what they brought me, each one a lesson; sometimes an old one I needed to be reminded of and some a brand new one I had yet to consider.

Really their previous owners were almost always forgotten the minute the horse arrived, save the occasional "fucking people" thoughts.

This woman, this Shannon person that is still crawling about CL and FB looking for a pony for this young girl that was intended for Austen...

I'm tired of pussy footing around about her. I think of her and I can feel the heat raise in my face. I can feel the change of expression come over me.

How dare she take him on and think nothing of what he needs. Maybe she didn't realize how much effort he took. I have considered that and you know what I don't give two shits. Ignorance is the excuse for neglect far too often. If you don't know what you are doing, ask, research, call someone for fucks sake. This belief that you can toss every one of them two flakes of hay morning and night with no recourse is as bad as thinking that cats can be left behind cause they are hunters and will fend for themselves. Pisses me right off. There is absolutely no excuse.

Maybe she didn't believe his owners when they explained his needs. Maybe she is of the mind that "he's just a horse".

Maybe she is just plain old neglectful. Maybe she just doesn't pay enough damn attention to own an older horse that has already ONCE been through neglect. Maybe she ought to buy a fish and leave the large animals to people who pay enough attention to care for them. It really floors me that with the proper information she choose not to care for him properly. I'd probably not be near as flabbergasted if I thought for one second that she was not told what he needed. I know his owners and I know she was given full disclosure.

Honestly I'd not care if she was flat out lied to. She did not pay attention. I can not, will not, excuse that. I am about sick of pussy footing around it. I've been flat out lied to about a horse. Who hasn't? That she was not flat out lied to just makes it that much worse.

Yes it bothers me more because it is him. Because I have cared for him before, because I love him, because I know him, have known him, because he was there for me. I admit that I am biased and am not as objective as I have been able to be in the past.

I am about sick of people doing this shit. I am about sick of the pussy footing around. This woman hurt this horse. This woman hurt this horse with no fear of recourse. She hurt him then returned him as if there was not a thing wrong. He is god damn 150lbs underweight. His tail head is sticking out. His spine is exposed. His ribs are exposed. His coat is covered with that horrible film that only comes with a dose of neglect. You rub him and come back with this film on your hands. His hair is coming out like crazy. He doesn't have much in the way of energy. His back leg is worse off now being she and her buddies rode this child's horse double. She hurt him. He is not healthy at the moment. He will be ok however he will have scars. It infuriates me.

Why should I keep my mouth shut? She is looking for a horse! She may have already found one. God help the horse she finds if they have any additional needs. She has animals you see, supposedly they are well taken care of, or perhaps they are simply less maintenance. That's probably the case. I'd bet my last tub of beet pulp that they are easy keepers in every sense.

Besides her specifically why in the world do we keep it hush hush when someone does something like this? Why do we not call them out? It's crap. If I neglected my boys like these people do I'd expected to be shamed right into the goldfish corner.

I am not talking about the random person who finds them self unable to care for them. I am talking about the perfectly capable who do not.

Why should they not be ashamed? Why should they be able to discard of them with no fear of consequence? Why am I afraid I will look like a bitch for stating the obvious?

Don't judge right?

I work everyday at not judging. I am not perfect. I judge. I also think through the judgement to find my part in it and then try to let it go. I try my damnedest to understand, taken into consideration, etc... All that peace loving, live and let live, be kind, violence begets violence, pile on the cliche's, I really believe that shit. I also try to live by it.

Sometimes it is not judging, it is stating the obvious, like now. This woman whom bought Austen, in my opinion, has no excuse. She's an ass, an ignorant ass that has no business being in charge of anyone's well being. I don't care that this horse community is small and that someone I know might know her and somewhere along the way someone might get offended by my blaming her. I could give two shits (and I have a LOT of shits to choose from) if it offends her or anyone. We all should be offended. We should all be pissed off. 

I've spent pretty much every night this week in the barn sitting here, talking to him sometimes, just being there sometimes. We've walked about the yard. I've sat with him while he napped. Mostly we've just been getting reacquainted.

His diet is pretty set for the next month, we'll evaluate again at 30 days unless he shows no improvement. Truthfully I will reevaluate when I get home next week, I probably just won't change it.

He's eating smaller meals about four times a day. It's easier on the system. I am very thankful that my nephew is here to help with the lunchtime feeding.

He's primarily getting a "mash", he is getting hay too of course. We are trying compressed alfalfa bales, it seems easier for him. He loved the chopped hay you can buy however that is 15.00 a 40lb bag. Hardly reasonable.

He'll come back to himself I am sure. He'll be a little different as a result of the experience, just as a person would be. It's going to take a bit of time, just as it would with a person. He has feelings and they have been hurt. That part of it is as big as the physicality of the situation. For that I'd like to do more than call this woman an ass. 

How dare she tell him, with her actions, that he was not worth proper care? How dare she plant that seed and not expect it to hurt him.

How dare she.

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