A friend of mine posted something on facebook asking everyone who knew her if they knew why she did what she did. It's a question I ask myself frequently, not about her of course. About her the answer came simple cause it needs to be done and who better than her. For me answering that question takes five hundred blog posts!
Sitting here looking at Mac's adorable spotted ass while he eats I wonder again, why do I do it? I love looking at Mac; that's an easy answer, if only the question was why do I sit her and look at his little spotted butt.
Question is, why do I bring them in, get them all happy and healthy and send them about their way, this is not to imply I have ever haphazardly placed a horse. Hell it took me two years to find Katie's perfect partner. Anyway back to the subject at hand, why do it.
I've always felt the need to hide my many fears. We can talk about unrealistic expectations another time. In any case the horses, not only did they accept me scared shitless, they stood by me while I fell out of fear and into love. There aren't many animals on the planet, regardless of limb count, that would have done that. I will forever be grateful for that. That's the why, the core of the why. It also blows me away that they can be so broken at the hands of humans yet trust again. Brody for example. If I were him, I'd never trust another human being, yet he trusts. He let himself heal. He lets himself love. He lets himself trust. After all that he went through that is as close to miraculous to me as it gets. To be a part of that process is nothing short of phenomenal.
I also find it deplorable that there are so many that are so capable of hurting anything that they have the ability to hurt. I can't do much about it, I can help one at a time though.
The why is fairly easy I suppose. It needs to be done, and why not me.
It's also pretty heartbreaking.
You see more neglect then you can imagine if you even glance through the many places where animals for sale are advertised. Not to mention the stories that get passed about through the wonder of facebook. It's heartbreaking.
So many animals, of all species, being neglected at our hands. It makes me feel guilty, a little like survivor guilt.
It's also very expensive to decide to save a, what should be, thousand pound animal.
And then you have the letting go. The watching them come back into themselves and relationship or not, it's time to weigh their best interests. Sometimes that means letting go.
You get to know them pretty well, ok let's stop with the generalizations. I get to know them pretty well and it's usually pretty easy to determine if someone 'could' be happier. It takes a pretty laid back (lazy) horse to get granted permanent residence. It's just a fact and it's one I have to consider, lets take Mac for instance.
Mac is great. He's cute as all get out, has every Appy characteristic you could ask for, smart, funny, sweet, loves massages, cute little trot, responsive, safe, and smart (oops mentioned that twice).
I would love love love taking lessons with Mac. I would love love love resuming lessons with Mac.
Am I going to resume lessons? I am betting not anytime soon. Now if I could figure out how to board him and take lessons away from home I'd probably do it. Let me rephrase, if I made time for it. It's a quandary.
It's always a quandary.
It's both rewarding and heartbreaking.
Course if I'm gonna get heartbreak it may as well be mixed in with some spots now and again right?
It is the letting go, the awareness that you gain, it's the exposure to what can happen, it's the unbelievable amount of time and money, it's the constant worry, its the guilt you feel every time you see one in need. Those things are probably why most people think it's pure lunacy. Who in their right mind signs up for what could be a veritable heartbreaking money pit on four long ass legs?
It is the light that comes back into their eyes, it is the first nicker they give you, it is the shine coming back to their coat, it is seeing them run and play without a care in the world, it's sitting next to them while they nap, it's the first time you climb up there trusting them to trust you, it's watching them find that special person and shine under their hand, its knowing you did the right thing for the right reason, love. Having felt all that, how can you choose not to?
Sitting here looking at Mac's adorable spotted ass while he eats I wonder again, why do I do it? I love looking at Mac; that's an easy answer, if only the question was why do I sit her and look at his little spotted butt.
Question is, why do I bring them in, get them all happy and healthy and send them about their way, this is not to imply I have ever haphazardly placed a horse. Hell it took me two years to find Katie's perfect partner. Anyway back to the subject at hand, why do it.
I've always felt the need to hide my many fears. We can talk about unrealistic expectations another time. In any case the horses, not only did they accept me scared shitless, they stood by me while I fell out of fear and into love. There aren't many animals on the planet, regardless of limb count, that would have done that. I will forever be grateful for that. That's the why, the core of the why. It also blows me away that they can be so broken at the hands of humans yet trust again. Brody for example. If I were him, I'd never trust another human being, yet he trusts. He let himself heal. He lets himself love. He lets himself trust. After all that he went through that is as close to miraculous to me as it gets. To be a part of that process is nothing short of phenomenal.
I also find it deplorable that there are so many that are so capable of hurting anything that they have the ability to hurt. I can't do much about it, I can help one at a time though.
The why is fairly easy I suppose. It needs to be done, and why not me.
It's also pretty heartbreaking.
You see more neglect then you can imagine if you even glance through the many places where animals for sale are advertised. Not to mention the stories that get passed about through the wonder of facebook. It's heartbreaking.
So many animals, of all species, being neglected at our hands. It makes me feel guilty, a little like survivor guilt.
It's also very expensive to decide to save a, what should be, thousand pound animal.
And then you have the letting go. The watching them come back into themselves and relationship or not, it's time to weigh their best interests. Sometimes that means letting go.
You get to know them pretty well, ok let's stop with the generalizations. I get to know them pretty well and it's usually pretty easy to determine if someone 'could' be happier. It takes a pretty laid back (lazy) horse to get granted permanent residence. It's just a fact and it's one I have to consider, lets take Mac for instance.
Mac is great. He's cute as all get out, has every Appy characteristic you could ask for, smart, funny, sweet, loves massages, cute little trot, responsive, safe, and smart (oops mentioned that twice).
I would love love love taking lessons with Mac. I would love love love resuming lessons with Mac.
Am I going to resume lessons? I am betting not anytime soon. Now if I could figure out how to board him and take lessons away from home I'd probably do it. Let me rephrase, if I made time for it. It's a quandary.
It's always a quandary.
It's both rewarding and heartbreaking.
Course if I'm gonna get heartbreak it may as well be mixed in with some spots now and again right?
It is the letting go, the awareness that you gain, it's the exposure to what can happen, it's the unbelievable amount of time and money, it's the constant worry, its the guilt you feel every time you see one in need. Those things are probably why most people think it's pure lunacy. Who in their right mind signs up for what could be a veritable heartbreaking money pit on four long ass legs?
It is the light that comes back into their eyes, it is the first nicker they give you, it is the shine coming back to their coat, it is seeing them run and play without a care in the world, it's sitting next to them while they nap, it's the first time you climb up there trusting them to trust you, it's watching them find that special person and shine under their hand, its knowing you did the right thing for the right reason, love. Having felt all that, how can you choose not to?
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