I have said, over and over, that the horses, the animals in general, have taught me to be a better person. They taught be a lot about peace. They teach me forgiveness everyday. They teach me a bit more about trust each day. They help me to be true to myself.
My guys are all rescues of sorts. I say of sorts cause there is no real word for "needed a home". Brody is truly a rescue situation. Brody would have died, and probably sooner then anyone really wants to think about, had he been left in the situation he was in. The others, well they just needed a safe landing for one reason or the next.
When you have "rescues" people often say things like "You've done such a great job" or "They are lucky to have you" or something along those lines. I suppose that is true; thing is I don't think many know that the truth is, I need them as badly as they need me. I am lucky to have them in my life.
Lately there have been many occasions when I have come dangerously close to forgetting that I choose peace. I don't choose resentment, I don't choose accusatory behavior, I do not choose vindictive, vengeful, or hurtful behavior. I often forget that I choose peace for me, I choose forgiveness for me; not for someone else's well being, for mine. I also tend to forget that all of that does not mean that I lack strength, neither does it mean I accept those behaviors from others in my life.
It's a string of lessons I've been learning and relearning for the last two years. By learning I mean actively learning, or paying attention to! It's tough to wrap your head around peace when all around us we see violence, revenge, aggression. It's hard not to lash out and strike the offending aggressor, regardless of what it is. It is hard not to be self righteous in your anger, self righteous anger is dangerous. Fighting that is hard when you're hurt, confused, or just generally pissed off.
I've been pissed off a lot lately, rather I have had to examine being pissed off, quite a bit lately. It doesn't matter at who/what really because this idea of living life with peace means (to me) that the why is more important than the who/what.
It's taken a lot of barn time for me to figure this one out, truth be told. I mentioned to a co-worker that being in the barn, staring at the ponies, kept me sane. It certainly does that, more importantly it helps me figure it all out so that I come through it with peace. I stand there, my fingers freezing cause my gloves are inevitably wet, feet cold and wet (if not muddy) cause my boots have a hole and I have yet to apply my fix to this problem (duct tape), and listen to them eat; let the sound of hay being crunched, water being sloshed, and the occasional swoosh of a tail, remind me again that peace is a choice. The only choice.
My guys are all rescues of sorts. I say of sorts cause there is no real word for "needed a home". Brody is truly a rescue situation. Brody would have died, and probably sooner then anyone really wants to think about, had he been left in the situation he was in. The others, well they just needed a safe landing for one reason or the next.
When you have "rescues" people often say things like "You've done such a great job" or "They are lucky to have you" or something along those lines. I suppose that is true; thing is I don't think many know that the truth is, I need them as badly as they need me. I am lucky to have them in my life.
Lately there have been many occasions when I have come dangerously close to forgetting that I choose peace. I don't choose resentment, I don't choose accusatory behavior, I do not choose vindictive, vengeful, or hurtful behavior. I often forget that I choose peace for me, I choose forgiveness for me; not for someone else's well being, for mine. I also tend to forget that all of that does not mean that I lack strength, neither does it mean I accept those behaviors from others in my life.
It's a string of lessons I've been learning and relearning for the last two years. By learning I mean actively learning, or paying attention to! It's tough to wrap your head around peace when all around us we see violence, revenge, aggression. It's hard not to lash out and strike the offending aggressor, regardless of what it is. It is hard not to be self righteous in your anger, self righteous anger is dangerous. Fighting that is hard when you're hurt, confused, or just generally pissed off.
I've been pissed off a lot lately, rather I have had to examine being pissed off, quite a bit lately. It doesn't matter at who/what really because this idea of living life with peace means (to me) that the why is more important than the who/what.
It's taken a lot of barn time for me to figure this one out, truth be told. I mentioned to a co-worker that being in the barn, staring at the ponies, kept me sane. It certainly does that, more importantly it helps me figure it all out so that I come through it with peace. I stand there, my fingers freezing cause my gloves are inevitably wet, feet cold and wet (if not muddy) cause my boots have a hole and I have yet to apply my fix to this problem (duct tape), and listen to them eat; let the sound of hay being crunched, water being sloshed, and the occasional swoosh of a tail, remind me again that peace is a choice. The only choice.
0 comments:
Post a Comment